Last night when I got back to my serviced apartment I thought about how to write this post and I just couldnt do it. It’s a little difficult to explain some of the things we saw!

Over the last month I have met and travelled with numerous people and it turned out that some of us were going to be in Bangkok at the same time so we decided to meet up for a night out in Bangkok to experience the night life. Ten of us met at Siam Sky Train station around 7pm last night. We went and grabbed dinner and then headed down to Patpong which is the most notorious red light district in Bangkok and is what gives Bangkok it’s reputation as “Sin City”

Dinner

Within minutes of walking getting to Patpong, we were handed our first menu. Now dont for one minute think this was a food menu even though there were numerous restaurants around. It was actually a “menu” for the tricks that the girls in the bars would do and included items such as:

Pussy smoke cigarette
Pussy open the bottle
Pussy magic flower

The menu

The menus were not short of imagination at all and one does have to wonder how or indeed why you could discover that you could do that with your nether regions! Having heard nightmare stories about people getting ripped off in Patpong, we were a little cautious and decided to check out the night markets first, although on the way Sara and I did get to experience a whipping from a bondage place. There are photos but I dont have those.

The markets were your standard markets (including some oddly shaped “massage” devices and dubious tablets) with highly inflated prices surrounded by bars and sex shows.

That is NOT a woman

I took a photo of some t’shirts – didnt realise until afterwards how strategically they had been arranged.

T'shirts for sale

Part way through the markets we jumped into a bar (just a normal one) and ordered some very expensive drinks (by Thai standards – £2 for a bottle of water!). A band started up and we stayed and watched them for a bit before deciding that we should go and see what we went there for.

The group of us in the bar

As we walked out of the bar I was accosted by a fellow who decided he was going to take us to a sex show. Now remember that we had heard of people who were badly ripped off so we were a little cautious! We agreed that we would pay 200THB for a drink and 300THB for entry for each one of us. A total of 5000THB for the 10 of us (about GBP100 or US$150) which wasnt too bad considering we were expecting to be charged between US$20-30 each. Safety in numbers I say!!

Our agreed price written on my hand

Tom (our Thai fixer) frog marched me to the sex show with the other 9 following behind. We went upstairs into a dark club with a bunch of half naked “women” (some of them had odd bulges down below) standing on a stage in the middle, handed over our money to Tom and were left sitting in a line watching these women on stage. It took me a while to realise that we had walked into the middle of a “show” and that the woman standing on stage was actually pulling a very long ribbon out of herself.

Following the ribbon show, a woman went up on stage with a birthday cake and proceeded to blow out the candles… but not with her mouth. Over the course of the evening we witnessed women opening bottle tops, shooting ping pong balls, picking up plastic rings with a straw and bursting balloons with darts shot out from… well.. you get the idea. It was all a case of “Look Mum… No hands!”

Personal feelings – It was probably the biggest turn off I have ever seen in my life. Even the Swiss guy with us told his girlfriend that she wasnt getting anything from him that night! How they do what they do? I really dont know. Infact, I really dont want to know.

The good news is that we managed to get out of there without getting too badly stung and we did indeed see a Bangkok Sex show. We ended up back at the bar we had started at. By this stage it was nearing midnight. We thought we should go and find the Lady Boys and I guess had I been more enthusiastic I probably would have looked harder for a Go Go club but after the sex show I wasnt that bothered so we didnt get there and ended the evening instead as some had early morning flights to catch.

Was it a good night? Was certainly an experience! Not sure I’d like to repeat it but by the same token, am glad that I did it.

The girls dancing